August was a busy month for Number One Mom and Dad. First, the Jeneric Clan came for a visit. Toddler Jeneric wanted to say "hi":


Then, a special rug we ordered from way out in Toronto finally arrived:


And with the help of a couple of Enterprising Grandparents-To-Be, we were able to finish decorating and outfitting the nursery with some spoils from a baby shower:


Number One Dad repainted and refinished a cute little round table for the nursing nook:


Enterprising Grandparents-To-Be found and installed some window dressings for the nursing nook:
The crib is dressed, toy-ed up and ready to go. Some kind souls hand knitted a couple of sweaters for Ninja Baby:



The changing center is stockpiled and ready. The painting is a souvenir from our tropical holiday:

And of course, we were provided a cows for a nice final touch, in honor of Number One Mom's humble farming roots:


So we are roughly two months away from Ninja Baby's world premiere (ETA October 26, 2008). Number One Mom and I think it's time for a contest. Contestants are invited to guess Ninja Baby's actual birth date and time and gender, and submit their guesses in the comments section of this blog entry. The closest guess of the date and time will win. In the event of a tie, we will use the gender guess as a tie-breaker. The winner will receive a gen-you-wine, 3"x5" glossy picture of Ninja Baby. The deadline for entry is September 30, 2008 at 12:00 PM. Any entry after that date will be eliminated from consideration.

Good Luck!

Ninja Baby recently enjoyed a luxurious 5-day vacation to the tropics. Most of the days were spent lazing around on the beach...:



...Enjoying fine dinners...:



...and just generally chilling out:



Meanwhile, back home, some enterprising grandparents-to-be were helping to finish decorating Ninja Baby's new lair:



All in all, it's been a good week to be a Ninja Baby.

When you have a child nicknamed "Ninja Baby" it stands to reason that the baby's real name should be distinctive and unique. The problem is that, with over 6 billion people on planet earth, all the really good distinctive names have been taken. New parents seeking help from baby name books are pretty much SOL because while most of them brag about having over 1,000 different names for boys and girls, they are generally the most common names.

A family member once suggested that we consider naming Ninja Baby based on our progeny's possible future profession. Based on that suggestion, here are some examples we (oh, so briefly)
considered:

Profession: Finance and Securities
"Visa D. Mastercard" (the "D" stands for "Diner's Club")

Profession: Actor
"Angelina Drew Roberts"

Profession: NASCAR Driver
"Shake n' Bake"

Profession: Crappy Right Wing Politician
"George W. Harper-Regan"

Profession: Movie director of an Oscar-caliber pedigree who's quality of work declines significantly in the later years:
"Francis Ford Lucas Spielberg"

Profession: Angry white hippie poet-novelist-songwriter
"Jewel Atwood-Morisette"

Profession: Self-destructive Rock n' Roll has-been
"Axl Osbourne-Simmons"

Profession: Movie director of an Oscar-caliber pedigree who retains their god-like status in the hearts and minds of movie fans, in perpetuity
"Quentin Cameron Thomas Anderson Scorsese-Mann"

Profession: Angry black hippie-poet-novelist-songwriter
"Nikki Walker Scott-Badu"

Profession: Philadelphia-area martial artist of Italian descent
Salvatore Antonio Pasquale Giuseppe Boriello-Lucas

Anyways... for the sake of an update, here is a tummy pic. The belly-button has almost "turkey-timer"ed, so things are getting pretty exciting. Ninja Baby is kicking up a storm, but has yet to respond directly to Number One Dad's voice. The kid's not even born yet and already its ignoring me...

Seeing as we have updated what has been happening here in about a month - I thought I should post the most recent photo of Ninja Baby.

My original intention was to use the following post as an introduction to our new (at the time un-named) baby blog. I even sent out an email to a bunch of my friends soliciting reactionary comments to each video, in an effort to make the post more interesting.

... then I got so busy at work I forgot about it for a couple of weeks.

So here are the videos. You know 'em, you love 'em:

5) Pearl the Landlady



My original choice for the number 5 position really sucked. I decided to put this one here to make Emily happy.

4) 3-Year Old Explains Star Wars



My friend Dilek thought this video was a bit staged. She also questioned who would expose a 3-year old to Star Wars which made me snicker 'cause I've already exposed Baby Ninja to Langston Hughes's Bad Man at negative 5-months old. Star Wars might be a step up.

3) Ethan Laughing



Even Dilek was not so jaded that she couldn't help laughing at this video. The dad in the video sounds remarkably like my friend Eric.

2) Charlie Bit Me.



I lose it when Charlie snorts with laughter. I gotta watch this again...

1)Asian Baby Sings "Hey Jude"



Human language does not nearly have enough words to describe the sheer coolness of this video.

Bye

Number One Dad's Reaction: Again, maybe not such good subject matter for a fetus, but hey, I was bored and Number One Mom was asleep.

As the birth of Ninja Baby approaches, it's amazing how many times I ask myself that question. I mean, really the only previous child-raising experience I have is those few times my parents left me and my brother alone in the house. And although the fact that the house never burned is a plus in my favour, I have to be honest and say there's not much I do know about raising children.

But you know what? I know stuff. Sure it all comes from movies, but it's still worthy advice, and I would have no qualms about passing it down to my child. Here is a sampling of some of the knowledge I plan to give the kid throughout the years, as well as a reference to the source:

On setting priorities:

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli. – The Godfather

On Jesus:

Jesus was black. If Jesus was black, the apostles were black, 'cause wouldn't no 12 white men follow no brother. Not unless they was the police and Jesus had a warrant, huh? They ain't have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he was black. Jesus first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Now, if that ain't black folk shit, I don't know what is. – The Original Kings of Comedy

On self-defense:

They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. – The Untouchables

On dating:

In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women. – Scarface

On political science:

Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. – Ferris Buller’s Day Off

On finding inner balance:

First learn stand. Then learn fly. Nature rule Daniel-san, not mine. – The Karate Kid

On passing gas:

In nineteen minutes, this area's gonna be a cloud of vapor the size of Nebraska. – Aliens

On self-confidence:

Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it." – Big Trouble in Little China

On manners:

Oh. Johnny, I apologize; I forgot you were there. You may go now. – Tombstone

On oenology:

First thing, hold the glass up and examine the wine against the light. You're looking for color and clarity. Just, get a sense of it. OK? Uhh, thick? Thin? Watery? Syrupy? OK? Alright. Now, tip it. What you're doing here is checking for color density as it thins out towards the rim. Uhh, that's gonna tell you how old it is, among other things. It's usually more important with reds. OK? Now, stick your nose in it. Don't be shy, really get your nose in there. Mmm... a little citrus... maybe some strawberry... passion fruit.... and, oh, there's just like the faintest soupçon of like asparagus and just a flutter of a, like a, nutty Edam cheese... - Sideways

On marriage:

Marriage is an important part of getting ahead: lets people know you're not a homo; married guy seems more stable; people see the ring, they think at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch; ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work. – The Departed

On the inconsistency of men:

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more. Men were deceivers ever. One foot in sea and one on shore, to one thing constant never. Then sigh not so but let them go and be you blithe and bonny, converting all your sounds of woe into "hey-nonny-nonny". – Much Ado About Nothing

On colour theory:

Purple? What kind of a homosexual are you anyway? That's not purple, "Mary", that color out there... is mauve. – Angels in America

On personal beliefs:

Well I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fibre, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontang are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. - Bull Durham

On true love:

Death cannot stop true love. It can only delay it for awhile. - The Princess Bride

On knowledge:

Only a numbskull thinks he knows things about things he knows nothing about. - The Hudsucker Proxy